Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Dick Cheney Kicked to Curb
Former Vice President Dick Cheney, shown being wheeled into a restroom during the inauguration of Barack Obama, was apparently injured in a confrontation with a disgruntled servant. Reports had initially detailed "box moving" as the culprit in relegating Cheney to a wheelchair for the inauguration ceremony. However, it has been confirmed that it was in fact a fistfight with Roland Nood, an outgoing houseboy with the vice-Presidential residence. Describing the event as a "beatdown", witnesses which included several laborers with a moving company detailed hearing Cheney make a "remark" about Nood's height. "Roland's tough, he's short you know but he's bad and he just had enough of that Cheney I guess, who knows. Hell, I just wanted to get that box of tubes out to the van" said staffer Roy Hilton. Other staffers told stories of "getting the business" from the Vice President during his tenure, and were in strong support of Nood's reaction. It was also reported that though a secret service detail was in place at the time, no immediate effort was made to
separate the men and that the pummeling was stopped only to cease the "horrible wails and shrieks" that came from Dick Cheney. Nood was not arrested.