Technology, it seems, has at long last revealed the ghostly image in clarity, and that clarity has produced a shocking revelation: Irish balladeer Bono has lived for at least 400 years.
Representatives of the Prado museum disclosed the eerie visage before a room of shocked reporters and dignitaries. A recent maintenance and cleaning of the masterwork gave opporunity for an array of high-tech gadgetry that was used in scanning the painting for the first time in seventeen years. " I terrifically shocked!" announced Brettelo Mosherino, a Velazquez specialty curator for the Prado. "There had been the rumors you see, but we all thought them funny business, now I see for myself and I am wondering like everyone, who is this Bono?" A news conference scheduled for Friday afternoon in Dublin could shed some light upon that subject, as handlers for the rock and roll band U2 have hastily arranged a briefing in the Dublin docklands.