Sunday, June 8, 2008

Straight Talkin' Jesus: Gas Prices



(Editors note: This is the first official posting from our newest correspondent Straight Talkin' Jesus)
Cody, Wyoming. Greetings everyone, reaching out to you from the frontier. I just got back from touring the country in my Minnibago, picking up on the vibe of this great land and I got to tell you, things are darker than Dick Cheney's soul out there.
What I want to talk about today is my gas tank, and how many dang dollars are going in. Granted, I could fill the thing with water, wave my hand a time or two and drive on, but I want to roll like the rest of you. A trip to the local gas station isn't like back in the day, when good ol' Goober would fill 'er up, check the oil, and sell you a pickled gizzard, all for ten bucks. These days you will burn up ten dollars just idling at the stop light, for Me sakes! No wonder the prayers that are pouring in now, most of them asking of heart attacks for corporate oil CEO's. I have to admit I am tempted, but striking down these fat cats won't help and anyway, they'll be getting their due eventually.

I will tell you this, if you voted for Bush then you brought this on yourself. I don't feel the least bit sorry for those of you who helped put that jackass in charge, and if you are in that group of idiots who voted for the guy... Well, your'e on your own now. Let's see, what line of work are Bushies knee deep in? It isn't Soul Glo, I'll tell you that much. So everyone is bent out of shape now, cursing Exxon/Mobil and regretting terribly the decision to buy that big-ass Escalade a couple of years ago (damn Sopranos). Folks, when you have a president who likes to take walks holding hands with the Saudi Crown Prince, you have a problem. Also, if you were dumb enough to buy a ride that sucks gas, even though you new damn well you didn't need that monster truck, then you are paying for your pride now, bub.

Me? I just picked up a used Vespa to scoot around town, and this makes for fewer trips to the town pump. It also makes for some weird looks. Looks like I'm going to have to go with a different wardrobe when I'm on two wheels. J out!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree with you more J man. The Bushie's are the modern day loose-a-fuer'.